what's going on with me? i'm IN LOVE... so there's that.

"i'm just glad he picked brittany so i don't have to go out with that CLOWN."

-next, on mtv

an eventful weekend. parties and such all around. on a constant high-on-life. whatever life means

cfaaaaaaaa....you're a monkey barrel of fun. fun fun fun.

today i am nervous because i have voice and speech at 8:30 tomorrow.
another change to prove myself? another chance to fail? who really
knows but paula langton. not me.

maybe god.

i'm not in love with jordan anymore.

went to wesleyan, my brother dustin's ol' stompin grounds, and partied it up. some drunk guy was peeing, and i saw his schlong, and it was groosss...THEN he had the audacity to come up to me and be all like, "i would definitly have sex with you, and i would show you the time of your life." hahahaha (he knew about my, well, "orientation")

my fucking mother still thinks its a phase. huh.

i suck at acting. im quiting. help. crater-face. ski-market. midget-farts. wah.

above: CFA.

so today was a good day...we did well on our acting excercise first period, had voice and speech second period, followed by an INSUFFRABLE (sp!)* locals in which i did get to read america by allen ginsburg, which is always fun. but.... overall, a successful day..i mean im stoned so thats always a plus.

jordan comes this weekend, along with maggie. maggie comes on wednesday, actually. im scared. but its my birthday on thursday so yay. i dont know if im really that into birthdays. i hate getting it sung to me, i hate it when people wish me a "happy birthday.." i mean what the fuck does that even mean?? like, im glad you were born hurray? fuck that man what does the day i was born have anything to do... i mean...we should just forget it it's insignificant. and then all the calls from your fucking PARENTS like...shit dude.....oh and THEN you dont get wished happy birthday from the one fucking person you really really want to get wished by and then you're depressed. because all the fucking hype about birthadys from the people that you kinda like but should love makes your expectations sky-rocket. you feel like you're the fucking king of the universe when its your birthday. it means nothing. you know what, parents did that. all the fucking birthday celebrations. man they were tiresome. so draining. but then you were kind of jealous of the attention one sibling was getting, so you really really really looked foward to your OWN birthday (but even then somehow felt cheated out of attention). birthays are stupid birthdays suck. people make such huge deals about them. "HOW could you have forgotten to call on my ONE and ONLY birthday of the year??!!" shit dude im sorry. i just dont really care jack ass.

so im 16, she said she would call or something. she never did. i sat in my room all day. it was messy but i didnt care. not even an e-mail. we had plans or something i think....

AMAZING SONGS

-pussy, by the brazilian girls

-evil, by interpol

-2014, by the unicorns.

-Y-control by the ya ya ya's

-extroadinary machine, by fiona apple.

woot, woot.

say, richard, who was your favorite little rascal? was it alfalfa? or was it SPANKY...

....sinner.

shut the fuck up, donny.