March 7, 2006
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it's spring break.
right now, i'm sitting on a warm, sandy beach, a pina colada in one hand and a hot babe in the other. im tan, blonde, and wearing a red bikini. last night, we went out to a club and drank shots of vodka and roofies the size of buckets to get reeealllll drunk and dance dance dance the night away. i woke up this morning in a pile of my own vomit, naked, next to seven 40-year-old men in speedos. welp, its been a good day for me, cause i earned an exclusive spot on the new "girls gone wild: lift up her shirt and wrap her around some chick 'cause she's too drunk to be a human being." at least i didnt wake up in a tub full of ice like jen. welp, it's back to the bar for some coronas and std's!
actually
i have been sitting in my apartment for like four days. oh no wait, yesterday i went to the charles... only it FEELS like today because i havent slept in 26 hours. but guess what?! i'm not tired. i've tried. lord KNOWS i have tried to fall asleep. but alas, mr. sandman shant be visiting 79 brighton any time soon.
life is generally okay for now. i'm watching date my mom on mtv. mtv has lost all credibility. its garbage. trash. like britney spears. dooowwnnn the draaaiiinnn.... i also watched saved by the bell, a back-to-back "to be continued..." episode. its like watching a bunch of twelve year old robots. "I. LOVE. YOU. KELLY. SCREECH. IS. FUNNY. SLATER. HAS. A. CURLY. MULLET. SPICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. THE. 80'S."
i love the part in date my mom where the mother, daughter, and lucky man run down the beach at sunset together, and the mom can't keep up because the path in the sand is made for two people, so she looks like she's being dragged around by her daughter, and then she awkwardly stops and waves them straight to paradise. ain't it nice? flavor of love.
i feel like unless you try to be witty and sarcastic and funny on blogs they just become some whiney teenagers account of something that's not that important to begin with. blah blah blah classes are rough blah blah i'm still in love with so and so blah blah my dog has cancer of the face.
OR
blah blah witty witty i'm so funny you want to read more because i am new and different and worthy of the world's attention. here's a joke. there's a joke. everywhere a joke, joke.
i'm so bored i dont even know what bored feels like anymore. i'd like to thank jen for the cigarettes and god for getting me where i am today. if i wrote i song right now it would be called "life without a sensei (jen callkike)"
okay, okay. i'll admit it. i like lindsay lohan.
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